Fuck You Friday

This past week was pretty uneventful. I only had class from Monday through Wednesday since we were given a five-day break for Easter. Can you believe that? Five days? I’m not complaining. I do, however, have two exams on Tuesday as soon as I return to school. That’s something definitely to complain about.

It looks like I’m actually sticking to my Fuck You Friday entries. Well, it’s too early to really say that since it is only my second entry, but still. Let’s see whether I’ll be able to maintain this or not.

So, without further ado…

Fuck you, you 300 lb. lard-stuffed, poor excuse for Jabba the Hut

While I waited in my car for Andrea, coincidentally in the same place where I received that $25 parking ticket from the City, this 300 lb. girl stuck her head into my car to tell me to move. This walking camel toe worked for some disabled persons organization. She even had one of those identification tags that you wear around your neck. I had the pleasure of seeing her fat face on it when she whipped it out and showed me that she meant business and was official. She informed me that I was parked in front of a sidewalk's small ramp for the handicap and had to move.

Now, I wouldn't have minded her Fat Albert physique had she talked to me without the attitude (Why is it that a lot of fat girls have that ugly attitude?). I also wasn't parked directly in front of said ramp. There was a big gap between the ramp and my car, plenty of room for someone in a wheelchair or scooter to roll onto. Besides, the chances of someone in a wheelchair or scooter driving on that particular sidewalk were slim to none. The sidewalk led to a major street from the UT campus and vice versa. So stupid.

I wanted to tell her that the waterfall of sweat pouring down her face smelled like bacon grease, but I just gave her a sarcastic, "Uh, okay" answer. She stood back and waited while I took my sweet time to put away my notes that I was looking over before I was disturbed, possibly almost eaten, so I could move my car. On my way to a different spot, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw her Tweedledee body waddle down the little ramp. What the hell? Apparently, my car was parked far enough for a scooter to drive through, but didn't provide enough room for a suma wrestler. What a bitch. She didn't have to use the ramp to get off the sidewalk. She could've just directly walked off the sidewalk onto the road. But I guess using a ramp takes less energy. She couldn't lift her cellulite legs to make that little extra effort to just walk down off of the sidewalk to cross the road. I just couldn't believe that she used the handicap excuse when she just wanted to walk down the ramp. Doesn't she know that being fat isn't a handicap? So, fuck you, you 300 lbs. of shit in a 10 lb. bag.

Fuck you, UPS

I sent my new phone to Samsung through UPS to be repaired almost two months ago. All the while, I've been calling Samsung about the status of my phone. I knew that it'd take them forever to check what was wrong with it, fix it, and send it back. That's always the case. Samsung repeatedly told me that they never received my phone in the mail. So, I checked UPS's website to track my package. It said that it was "still in transit" in Mesquite, TX. It arrived in Mesquite the day after it was shipped from Kerrville, where it was shipped from. The package was scheduled to arrive in Plano, which is only, what, five hours away from Kerrville? It didn't make sense that it'd take nearly two months for it to get there. I mean, I could've delivered it myself by foot faster than that.

I finally just called UPS about it. The representative told me that they lost my phone in Mesquite and weren''t aware of it till just then, but were going to create an investigation about its whereabouts. In the meantime though, I had to call Samsung to inform them that my phone was MIA. What? I got a little irritated with him. Had I not called, UPS would've never informed me that my package was missing; and worse, they wouldn't even do anything about it. Idiots. I let him know that I was irritated and not appreciative in the fact that they were just waiting the failed delivery out. I even made him call Samsung since it was UPS's fault that my phone wasn't delivered. Bitches.

Fuck you, idiot Americans, Randy Jackson, Kara DioGuardi, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell, who like, praise, and vote for Adam Lambert and Lil Rounds

This particular fuck you is directed to those who obviously can't distinguish talent from sharp, glass-shattering shrieks, or unoriginal and consistently off-key singing that lacks any kind of soul (the kind of soul found in R&B and Motown, and the kind of soul that's expected from any Black singer, to be exact) from raw talent.

The judges continue to praise Adam's poor attempts to sing. I just don't get it. I really don't. You know that high-pitched screech that a cat makes when you pull its tail while it's trying to run away from you? That's exactly what Adam sounds like when he sings. Adam has absolutely no range whatsoever in his vocals, just like Danny Gokey and Megan Corkrey, who was eliminated two weeks ago. He has no artistry, despite what Kara keeps saying. He doesn't make a song his own. It isn't artistry. It isn't originiality. It's simply an excuse. It's a cover-up of the fact that he doesn't know how to interpret the different musical genres. He makes every song fit his comfort zone because he doesn't know how to "sing" outside that, which is why every single song he does sounds exactly the same, or sounds like a complete disaster since not every genre can be so transformed to fit his excuse, for example: his version of "Ring of Fire." That was beyond nauseating, not to mention offensive to Johnny Cash.

As far as Lil Rounds...well, all I have to say is that she's fortunate that she's the only Barack this season. Seriously, if it wasn't for that fact, she would've been eliminated a long time ago. She has strong chords, I'll give her that. She can only sing loudly. That's it. But my gosh, she can't sing in tune, or on pitch if her life depended on it. She can't even pick a good song for herself. I really appreciated Kara's critique during Motown Week, although some morons would've considered it racist. Kara was disappointed in Lil's failure to "wow" them since it was her week to impress them; since well, it was in fact Motown Week. She said that since she didn't entice them during the week that everyone expected her to do well on, then chances are she wouldn't be able to impress them in the upcoming weeks. That couldn't be any closer to the truth. It didn't mean that just because Lil's black, she should automatically represent Motown. She was talking about Lil's voice, which fits the sound of Motown and R&B. It had nothing to do with her being black.

They even showed clips of an overly emotional Lil while she walked through the Rock 'n' Roll of Fame's section of female recording artists of Motown. She commented on how hard she worked the entire week to do justice to Aretha Franklin and continue the pride of female singers that paved the way in Motown. And prior to Motown week, she sang soulful R&B songs and did well. So, it had nothing to do with her race. Kara was talking about the expectations that everyone had because of Lil’s record of singing Motownique songs.

And guess what? Kara was right. Lil did horrible on Country week, the “year the Idol was born” week, and Top 40 week. She keeps saying that she’s a versatile singer and promising to improve in her song choice every week. You’d think that people wouldn’t be repeatedly stupid and stop voting to keep her there, but alas…

I hate that American Idol isn’t necessarily a competition based on talent. It’s based on popularity. It’s based on image. It’s based on money. It’s based on who can sell-out the best. People’s votes on people who don’t have any musical talent, like Adam or Lil, are completely wasted. Those votes should be reserved for those who deserve the record deal because of their talent, their passion, and their capability to produce intelligent music.

So, fuck every single one of you who support Adam and Lil.

Fuck you, nosey lady who has hair that looks like Mr. Snuffleupagus’s ass and can’t spell

Grace, Andrea, and I ate dinner at Fish City Grill on Wednesday, before Andrea’s horrid softball game (after having a seven point lead, they still lost by one point in the last inning since her team can’t hold any runs, even if they’re given seven chances to improve themselves worthy). Fish City Grill has daily dinner specials that they write on a massive chalkboard, in addition to their regular everyday menu. I noticed that they spelled a number of words incorrectly. It wasn’t that I was nitpicking (that’s usually the case when it comes to any public display. I’ve a habit to scrutinize a display’s grammar. Sometimes, I’ll even take a red pen and edit it), but it was hard not to see the mistakes since the words were written in a huge font size, about 1 foot.

I always see the word “vinaigrette” spelled incorrectly. I’ll usually let that one pass since it is tricky. Fish City Grill spelled it as “vinagarette.” Close. They spelled “sesame” wrong too: “seasame.” I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a play on words since they are a seafood place. Highly doubtful. But then we noticed that they even spelled “peanut” wrong: “penut.”

The three of us were giggling, pointing, and verbally correcting the mistakes. It never made sense to me that people don’t edit their signs. You’d think that people would be overly cautious about what they display since it is a direct display and proof of their intelligence. I know I would be.

I noticed the lady who sat directly behind me looking up at the sign while we made fun of the misspellings. She looked like a man from the back. I knew she was listening to our conversation. It was hard not to since we were a little bit loud. She kept moving her head in the direction of what word we were talking about.

Then I saw her motion the manager to her table. She informed him that there were a number of words spelled incorrectly. When he asked which words, I heard her tell him the three that we found. He told her that spelling was never his forte and asked how to spell the three words correctly. And guess what? She didn’t fucking know. She said, “Oh, I’m not sure how to spell them. I just know they’re wrong because they don’t look right.”

Are you kidding me?

If you have the audacity to tell someone they’re wrong, then you sure as Hell should also be able to know how to correct it. What’s the point in even pointing out the fact that they’re wrong when you can’t even tell them why it’s wrong and how to fix it? I hate people who are like that. I suppose they just enjoy being right, even if they don’t know why.

I think that’s what irritated me the most about this fucking stupid lady. I didn’t really care that she listened in our conversation, stole our thunder, or had the ugliest backside of a head I’ve ever seen. She just really irritated me that she had the nerve to tell the manager he didn’t know how to spell when she couldn’t spell either. So, fuck you lady for being stupider than the man who can’t spell “vinaigrette,” “sesame,” or “peanut” because you too lack the ability to spell those three words, and in addendum, lack common courtesy and class.


So, that’s it for this week’s Fuck You Friday. Till next time.